Boobs, Beta-Blockers and The Bible: How I Became A Christian

I always went to church. As a family, we attended an Anglican church in the village that I grew up in. Mum is and was a Christian and brought me and my brother up with Christian values. I always knew God existed and I would pray from time to time, I thought that I was a Christian because Mum was. I was always a well behaved child, in contrast to my older brother and I thought this made me ‘good’,

I thought this made me ‘acceptable’.

My parents had a very messy break-up when I was 11 and my world was turned upside down. I began to attend a pentecostal church with my mum. This was a real culture shock, but it was here I discovered the work of the Holy Spirit. I also began to gain a proper understanding of the gospel and that I needed to make a commitment of my own. There were always opportunities to become a Christian at the end of church services, but being very self conscious and lacking self-confidence, I would resist going to the front. I would never stand up during worship for the same reasons. I remember being at a conference with my mum, and being really struck by the lyrics ‘mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of your name’. I had begun to discover just how awesome God is and I remember telling my mum that I was stood up on the inside.

 

I worked extremely hard at school and got very stressed throughout my GCSEs, to the point of being prescribed beta-blockers by my GP. I was really excited to finish my exams and have 11 weeks off school before A Levels started. When I finally finished my exams, it was quite an anti-climax, I suddenly felt purposeless. I was struggling with a lack self confidence and was incredibly self conscious of my developing body. My friends wore pretty, figure hugging clothes and under-wired bras. I wore comfy, but ugly crop tops and baggy, boyish clothes- anything to cover myself up, anything to hide behind. This led to me feeling very down. It was the first time in my life that I discovered that my parents could not solve all my worries. One night in bed I felt so depressed and scared that I got into bed with my mum. She began to re explain the gospel to me. She explained about the many laws of the Old Testament and that this is how the Jewish people tried to gain acceptance from God. She then explained how Jesus had defeated our sins and sorrows on the cross. Taking the punishment for all the things I had done wrong and that He loved me unconditionally. It was here that I made my own commitment to God.

Although my mood did not immediately lift, I began reading the bible, finding verses appropriate to my situation. I really felt that God was close to me and this would often fill me with emotion. Around that time there was a song that I listened to a lot. It was a Whitney Houston song about friendship called ‘Count on me’ and I strongly felt God speak to me through its lyrics: ‘Count on me through thick and thin, a friendship that will never end, when you are weak I will be strong, helping you to carry on, call on me I will be there, don’t be afraid, please believe me when I say, count on me’. One thing I have discovered over the years, is that God will speak to a person in a way that is appropriate them. In this case, showing a teenage girl that he loves her and can be completely relied upon through a pop song.

God has been so faithful to me over the 12 years that I have known Him and He continues to amaze me daily. He has blessed me with so much and I feel more loved and accepted than ever before.